


Excuses

by TheUnnamedOne



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Christmas Tree Festival, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Past Austria/Hungary (Hetalia), The Author Regrets Everything, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 21:31:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18881656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUnnamedOne/pseuds/TheUnnamedOne
Summary: “You shouldn’t talk about serious things while drinking. You’ll say things you regret later.”“You mean like telling someone yes when they ask you to be their girlfriend.”The pit formed in her stomach like an old friend that you wanted nothing to do with. “I wasn’t drunk when I said yes.”“But you do regret it.”----AKA: That time that Hungary learned she still had a lot to learn about relationships.





	Excuses

**Author's Note:**

> This was a coin commission for someone on Hetalia Amino and I have never ever written for this couple before. They wanted angst and hopefully they have fufilled that. Please dont @me over the relationship being abusive, that was the whole plot of the story and to try and not offend anyone I used my own experiences and fights with my previous partners to write the arguments and scenes appropriately. 
> 
> It was hard, I'll admit that. I was in the position of not the victim, but the abuser. And it took a long ass time to come to terms with that. Recalling all the shitty things I said and did for the sake of a damn fanfic, frankly sucked. So I'm really hoping that this is what the requester was looking for.
> 
> NOTE: The scenes written in italics are flashbacks. Carry on

It was always a mystery why grocery stores decided to play such upbeat elevator music; aggravating to be completely honest. Hungary huffed a sigh and pushed her cart leisurely down the isle. The cheery music only served to worsen her mood as she stared at the many products on the shelves. She could get cocoa-puffs, but then she hated the texture of them. Maybe oatmeal instead? She picked up a bag of it and scanned the words without reading them. It was a plain breakfast but it would do. Or maybe cornflakes. Those were different, yet plain enough to not be insulting on her tastebuds. She sighed again and put both in the cart. Her breakfast pantry used to be filled with all kinds of ridiculous cereals but lately she detested even the sight of them. Their colorful boxes and cartoon characters. Hungary glared at a box of lucky charms, wishing that intense staring would be enough to set the damn thing on fire.

The next isle held various types of pastas and the accompanying sauces. Most of them would also require some kind of vegies or meats in addition and Hungary stared in contemplation. Could she really be bothered with all the extra ingredients? To be perfectly fair she wasn’t really doing a lot of cooking these days. It really wouldn’t make any sense to buy a bunch of meals when it was just her at home. She was halfway down the isle when she realised she had automatically put several pasta dishes in the cart. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of the lucky charms box as well. Damn him, he had managed to throw her shopping out of whack. And he wasn’t even here.

The pasta dishes and the lucky charms went on a random shelf as she shoved the cart down the rest of the isle. Screw shopping, she would just eat at Austria’s house if needed. She rushed through buying the few items she had, aggravated when she realised that she had forgotten the milk. Hungary shook her head and headed out of the shop. Maybe she would just find a different shop, one that she and Prussia had never gone to together.

 

****

 

“ _So I think that we need to take these negotiations more seriously, the economical sta_ _t_ _e of the country is getting more volatile and if we consider --”_

_Boring. Hungary sighed silently, trying to maintain at least an illusion of giving a crap about the conversation. This conversation had been word for word the same as the last one. And the last 20 before that. They were going in circles constantly and nothing was getting fixed. She took a sip of her water and glanced at Austria sitting next to her. It was hard to see if the other nation was feigning interest as well or if he was genuinely paying attention. A tiny smile emerged on her face as she thought about how effectively he would be able to bluff in a game of poker._

_A small ball of paper shot across the table to smack into her pinky finger and Hungary stared at it for a fraction of a minute. Slowly her eyes trailed across the path it had taken to land on Prussias’ wide grin. Her eyebrows dipped and she took another drink of water before turning to look back at the person speaking._

_Tick. Tick. Tick. Three more little balls of paper hit her hand. Her fingers twitched in aggravation and she pulled her hands to sit under the table on her lap. If she continued to ignore him he would either throw a tantrum or turn his pestering on to someone else._ _Hopefully his brother, who would have no tolerance for such a disruption for something that he deemed important. It was true that Germany gave his brother a lot of leeway, but he had also proven several times over that once he lost his temper everyone would snap to attention to actually get work done. Hungary tapped her fingers together; maybe enough scolding from Germany would make Prussia finally act like an adult._

 _TICK. Her head snapped around to glare at him with murderous intent a split second after a slightly larger paper ball smacked her chin. He was doing his best to keep his laughter silent and she clasped her hands tightly together. She waited until those eye_ _s_ _were squarely on her frowning face and mouthed “stop” once, turning back to pay attention._

_For the next few moments things were calm. The conversation was still going around in circles but that was no surprise. Austria had now spoken a few times, confirming that he was in fact paying attention. Hungary looked at his papers to see that he had taken several notes about the discussion. Her small smile returned just as he turned to ask her a question. She thought for a moment and opened her mouth to speak, turning to face the middle of the table._

“ _I think that --” THUNK. An object had flown forward to land in her mouth and Hungary’s immediate response was to cough vigorously. Prussia’s laughter was loud now, along with Germany’s exasperated yell. On the table in front of her landed a sopping wet paper ball and she felt a hand gently patting her back. She slammed her hands on the table and stood to give a full glare at Prussia, who had tears coming down his face from laughing so hard._

“ _Why must you ALWAYS act like a child?!” Her words were only met with more laughing as she turned to walk out of the room. She could hear Austria start lecturing Prussia while the door closed. Stupid. Stupid, childish behavior. Hungary huffed as she leaned against a wall outside. In truth she should be used to his antics; the other nation always found some way to ‘introduce fun’ into the dull meetings. Her finger tapped against her elbow in thought._ _Hadn’t he been essentially banned from meetings for this very reason? She wasn’t certain but she could have sworn someone had said something about it in the past._

_Around 15 minutes after she had begun her brooding people started trickling out of the meeting. Most ignored her presence, a few nations waved goodbye. She gave a smile in response to Italy as he walked away. Austria likely had appointments to do afterwards but she wanted to stick around just in case. The man had a terrible sense of direction and she wanted to be sure he knew where he was going and how to get there. Her smile was soft as she stared at the ground and she didn’t notice someone standing next to her until they cleared their throat._

_To say Prussia looked awkward was an understatement and Hungary almost felt bad for the glare she gave him. Almost. “What?” Her arms were crossed tightly in front of her chest as she stared unblinkingly at him._

“ _Uh well..” He rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. “I thought maybe I should apologise.”_

_Ah, yes. His ‘apologies’. Hungary sighed. “Maybe you should, yes. But apologies mean nothing if you are not sincere.”_

“ _I am sincere! I didn’t mean to make you choke.” He fiddled his fingers together and smiled sheepishly at her. “You were bored. I mean I was too but I just wanted to make things more interesting.” His hands went in his pockets and his face flushed slightly in shame. “I’m very sorry.”_

_Approximately 7.5 seconds went by as she gauged his body language. He certainly seemed serious in his intention to apologise. Perhaps she was being too hard on him. “Accepted. But I wasn’t bored. I was simply paying attention.”_

_Prussia snorted. “Sure you were. You were bored out of your mind. But it’s ok, it’s not like there was any progress on anything. You didn’t miss much.”_

_Her eyebrow raised slightly. “You mean to say YOU were paying attention?”_

“ _I always pay attention!”_

“ _What about when we were discussing the sewage systems last month?”_

“ _That was a crap meeting.” His grin was obnoxious and she felt her forehead twitch._

“ _Or when we were discussing the virus_ _that was running through the chicken_ _population_ _?”_

_His grin only grew wider. “Bit of a fowl situation that was.”_

“ _You aren’t funny.” Her foot tapped in aggravation._

“ _I am very funny. You just don’t want to laugh because you hate me.” He seemed far more relaxed compared to when he had walked outside._

_Her eyes widened and she gaped at him. “What? I don’t hate you exactly.”_

“ _No?” His expression softened for a second. “That’s good to know.”_

_The two of them stood in silence for a few moments, each lost in their thoughts. Hungary uncrossed her arms and started walking towards the door. Austria would likely be walking out soon._

“ _Hey, um.” She stopped and turned to face Prussia who had gone back to looking awkward. His hand was rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at the ground._

“ _Yes?”_

“ _Well I_ _still_ _feel bad. So could I make it up to you?”_

_Her eyebrows shot up. “How exactly?”_

_Prussia grinned at her. “There is karaoke tonight in town. It’s quite fun, and they have some awesome snacks. Would you like to go?”_

_Austria walked out of the door, eyes glued to his paperwork and Hungary thought it over briefly before nodding. “I have to check my schedule but if I have some free time then sure.”_

_Prussia grinned. “Great!” His joyous tone made Austria glance up with a small frown. “See you then!” Another wide grin was thrown at her as he walked off. Hungary shook her head. What a weird guy he was. Still, the desire to make amends was_ _admirable._ _He certainly didn’t have to and she appreciated the initiative. Regardless, she had work to do at the moment. Pondering his odd actions would come later._

_****_

Austria was tapping his pen against the table as he listened. It was clear to Hungary that he was not happy with what she was reading out but that couldn’t be helped. Once she finished reading the email he dropped his pen and sighed. “How am I meant to work with those terms? They are ridiculous to say the least, and impossible to be honest. My boss will never agree to even half of them.”

She put the tablet on the table in front of her and shook her head. “We could try to go back and forth again, to meet in the middle. But...”

Sighing again he put his head in his hands. “He is an unreasonable man. I feel for these people I really do. But he will not give them an inch. I fear this negotiation will simply fail.”

“Don’t give up! I’m certain we can still reach an agreement.” A door opened and footfalls made their way to the living room. “We just need to keep trying.”

“Hey Germany are you in?” Mouth full of some kind of pastry and a box under his arm, Prussia strode confidently into the room before stopping to stare at the two sitting there. For a split second he frowned but it was quickly covered up with a grin. And some frosting. “Oh hello. Where is my brother?”

Austria frowned. “I don’t know? He hasn’t been here all day. Why are you here?”

“Well.” Prussia snorted and scarfed the rest of the pastry down. “I have a key to my brothers house you know.”

Hungary closed her eyes and sighed. “Have you tried to call him?”

“Naaaah he doesn’t like answering the phone anyway.” The box was set on the table, on a small stack of paperwork, as he waved his fingers to make air quotes. “Talking in person is far more productive.” Neither Austria nor Hungary made any reaction to his terrible mimicry of his brothers voice and Prussia huffed. “Tough crowd. So what are you doing? Probably something boring.”

“Quite.” Austria pinched the bridge of his nose and stood. “I need a tea.” Hungary watched him leave, the pit in her stomach growing uncomfortably large. Prussia plopped down to sit in one of the chairs and twirled his hair around a finger. Hungary busied herself with filling out some paperwork, adamant that she wasn’t going to look at him.

For two minutes there was no sound except the scratching of pen on paper. It was suffocating and Hungary was doing her best to put it out of her mind. Prussia cleared his throat but she kept her eyes on the words she was writing. She heard him give a small huff at her ignoring him.

“You know. We don’t need to be so cold.”

Her eyebrow raised but she didn’t look up. “On the contrary, I think the room is quite warm. It’s not cold at all.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

She didn’t respond and Prussia groaned.

“You really are intent on ignoring my whole existence then?”

Finally she put the pen down and looked at him with no expression. “Prussia I am not ignoring you. I am working, aren’t you also meant to be working right now?”

“Don’t lecture me about work.”

“It wasn’t a lecture it was an observation. Perhaps you should save personal conversations for a time when I’m not busy.”

“How the hell am I meant to do that when you don’t speak to me?” His arms flailed upwards in exasperation. “Every time I try to talk to you you brush me off! It’s starting to feel like you simply don’t WANT to talk. That maybe you would be happy if I just straight up disappeared.”

Hungary looked back to her paperwork and swallowed the lump in her throat away. Austria needed her help to get through all this work. He wouldn’t get it done by himself and then he would be upset at being behind. Her pen started to write again and she heard Prussia give a little exhale.

“So that’s that then? You dump me and then just completely shove me out of your life? We can’t even be friends?”

Hungary closed her eyes and took a slow and deep breath. “Prussia. I am working. Please stop trying to talk about this right now.”

It wasn’t anger that she felt from him. It was a knee jerk sadness that seemed to sink into the air as he abruptly stood and picked the box up off the table again. “Fine. Just remember that I tried. I really tried. You’re the one who gave up.” He left the room as quickly as he had entered and her ears picked up the front door slamming shut. It was only then that she opened her eyes again. The pit in her stomach had migrated up to settle just under her collar bone and her eyes stung.

No. No crying. Not now. Hungary took another deep breath and slapped her hands on her cheeks once. There was work to do.

****

_A festival only for Christmas trees sounded odd, if she was being perfectly honest. They were just trees why would anyone want to make a festival for them? She had been very close to declining Prussia’s invite. She still wasn’t certain why she hadn’t. The karaoke night had been fun, that was true, if you can honestly say you have fun finding out you know none of the words to any of the popular songs._

_But despite her earlier apprehension, as she stood there looking at the various displays, all the work put in to decorate these massive trees, all the lights and sparkles. The Christmas songs playing over the speakers and the laughter and love coming from the crowds. She was so glad she had come along. Every single tree was unique with their own theme. People had turned them into a work of art for no reason other than to spread joy to those who looked at them. Hungary smiled widely at a group of young schoolkids excitedly pointing at everything. She could understand the appeal in the festival now._

“ _Sorry! There was a big line.” Prussia was back beside her with his cheeks flushed from the cold. Two pillars of steam rose from the cups in his hands and Hungary smelled the spiced chocolate drinks. Everything about the scene before her filled her with warmth, so much so that she almost forgot about the snow caking the ground. She smiled at him and accepted the cup he offered._

“ _It’s alright, I was enjoying looking at the trees.” She hummed in happiness as she took a sip._

“ _Yeah it’s cool isn’t it! This is my first time coming here, I can’t believe how much work went into each tree.”_

_The two of them walked slowly, discussing the many different designs they came across. They both agreed that the My Little Pony tree was weird, but the effort was admirable regardless. Hungary said her favourite one was the Yule display, whereas Prussia loved the Marvel one the most. They spent several hours just walking through the whole festival and taking part in a few of the games there. When they walked out they had finished off 4 more rounds of the chocolate drinks, and their pockets held many little candy canes. Hungary felt completely relaxed as they walked towards their cars._

“ _Did you see the kid on the firetruck? He was so proud of himself!” Prussia was laughing, staring up at the stars as they walked. “He reminded me of my brother when he was small.”_

_Hungary smiled. “Yes especially how he tried to look grumpy while smiling. The fireman was very unsure of whether he wanted to be there.”_

_The two of them laughed all the way to the car remembering the sight. Hungary unlocked the door and stood by it. “Thank you for inviting me. It was more pleasant than I thought it would have been.”_

_Prussia beamed. “Ah thank you for coming! I hoped you would enjoy it. You’ve been working so much even though it’s almost Christmas so...” His smile softened and he looked to the ground. “I’m happy.”_

_She wasn’t sure what to say to that. They stood there under the streetlight in a comfortable silence for a minute and she smiled at him. “Well. It was a lovely idea. I should probably go and try to get some sleep though..” Prussia nodded and grinned at her again._

“ _Yeah. Yeah you bet.”_

_She chuckled at his expression and turned towards the inside of the car. Just before she got in she felt him lean over to give a very brief kiss on the cheek. Her eyes widened a fraction and she looked at his red face._

“ _Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable I …” his hand was rubbing the back of his neck and his face flushed further. She snorted._

“ _It’s ok. Not uncomfortable just surprised.” She smiled as his eyes jerked up. “Goodnight Prussia.” At his relieved grin she got in and started the car. He held a hand up in a happy wave as she pulled out of the parking lot. Her rear-view mirror showed him standing there watching until she turned the corner._

_****_

Hungary put her spoon in the bowl and hummed. “I’ll admit, the colour was off-putting but the flavour of that was absolutely lovely, Liechten.”

The smaller girl smiled and reached for a piece of cheese. “Yes I felt the same. Last time I was at Uku’s house she had me try some and then taught me how to cook it myself. Personally I prefer her dish but I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Well I think you did rather well. We will have to come up with a dish for her to try next. It’s a shame she couldn’t join us for dinner, I haven’t seen her in a few months.”

Liechtenstein nodded. “She has been very busy. Her boss has not been in a good mood as of late.”

“Yes there seems to be something going around. Several of the nations have reported similar things with their governments. I wonder what has become of the world sometimes.”

Liechtenstein chewed on her piece of cheese silently while Hungary stood to refill their cups. The dinner had nearly not happened, Hungary hadn’t been particularly in the mood for socialising but the thought of how sad her friend would be convinced her to participate. She sat back down and took a sip of her drink as she observed the different foods on the table.

“Have you spoken to him?”

Hungary looked up and shook her head. “No I … am not quite sure what to say.”

“What happened?”

“Good question.” She sighed and leaned back, her eyes looking out the window at the dwindling light. “I think perhaps we should never have started the relationship in the first place.”

Liechtenstein hummed. “Was he a bad boyfriend?”

Her eyes widened before a frown took over. “No. Not bad just.” She sighed. “Better with someone else.”

“I see.”

Hungary took a deep breath and stared at the cup in her hands. “I fear I hurt him.”

“Well I would imagine so, you did dump him.”

“No,” she shook her head, “before that. During. He said something to me that made me realise that I…” another deep breath “was not nice to him.”

Liechtenstein tilted her head. “So you dumped him so you didn’t hurt him anymore?”

“I think so. Though I regret the way I ended things. I wish I had stopped and thought it through more so that he could at least have some closure.”

“Have you told him that?”

Hungary shook her head and her eyes stung. Despite the meal being lovely she now felt like she needed to throw up.

“I think you should.”

“I know.” She nodded and cleared her throat. “But I do not know how. I do not know what to say to him or where to start.”

“That’s ok. We never know what to say until we say it.”

Hungary sipped her drink and pondered her friends’ words.

****

 _The sound of the news droned on but Hungary barely heard it. It was all intensely boring and grating on the nerves. The same stories day after day just with different names._ _She picked the remote up and flicked through the channels absently. A cooking competition, a documentary on pyramids, another cooking show, some B grade scifi_ _movie_ _. She huffed in annoyance as several channels blipped past._

“ _There’s a dinner on the 14_ _th_ _of next month, some kind of celebration for successful negotiations. Would you be interested?” Prussia sat at the other end of the couch flicking through his phone and Hungary glanced at him._

“ _Sure.” More channels took their turn to be skipped past._

_He shifted slightly. “There is also a baby shower next week.”_

“ _Oh.” She settled on some random show, something about a girl who had gone back in time. “Cool.”_

“ _Did you want to go to that as well?”_

_She shrugged, wondering why a character on the screen was tying a bandage that way when there were more effective period appropriate ways to apply it._

_Prussia sighed. “A horse race too. The winner will get a pie made out of legos, while the loser has to run around the course naked.”_

“ _Sounds interesting.” Honestly did the creators of this show bother to research what weapons were used back then? Or did they just paint some props to look dirty and call it a day?_

 _Prussia put his phone on the table with a solid thunk and the two of them sat silently for a few moments. The heroine on the_ _TV_ _was making annoying whimpers at the bad guys and Hungary frowned. Not two scenes ago this woman was bragging about how she could handle herself in battle and now she had turned into a damsel. What was going through the minds of writers these days? Did character development mean nothing? She was honestly tempted to change the channel again but highly doubted she would find anything even remotely interesting to watch._

“ _Are you alright?”_

 _She nearly missed his quiet question. “Yeah, of course.” O_ _h,_ _look miss heroine doesn’t know how to ride a horse. Shocking._

“ _You seem really distant, I’m just worried is all.”_

 _Oh the horse had run off_ _after throwing the rider in to the bushes_ _. That’s what the lady got for shooting her mouth about things. “Don’t be worried.”_

“ _I mean. I’m your boyfriend, being worried is how I show I care.”_

_She hummed. “It’s a waste of time, but alright. I’m fine.” Honestly not even the costumes were right._

“ _Is this relationship a waste of time to you as well?” She didn’t need to look to know that Prussia was staring at her and not at the TV. She could feel her shoulders and neck cringe in annoyance._

“ _What are you on about now?” Her eyes slid to the side briefly before going back to the show._

“ _Why did you agree to become my girlfriend?”_

 _She didn’t have a response to that. What did he want her to say? She sighed deeply and leaned back. The show had wrapped up whatever ‘intense fight scene’ was going on and now the heroine and her presumed love interest were hiding in a cave. Of course it was raining. Because why not. Hungary narrowed her eyes at the cringy dialogue. Blah blah blah my wife left me blah blah please fix all my issues with a kiss. Yuck. It was mind numbing, did the writers really think this was_ _captivating storytelling_ _? These two had barely looked at each other the whole time she was watching and yet she is supposed to believe they suddenly have this deep and meaningful connection? Ridiculous._

 _She barely noticed as Prussia stood and walked towards the kitchen. Her mind was ra_ _c_ _ing with clever insults about this show, the characters, the setting, the too-loud-too-sappy soundtrack. All of this was garbage. Not paying attention to this garbage would mean, however, that she would need to pay attention to the garbage question that Prussia had asked her. Who even asked those sorts of things? She huffed and her frown deepened. As far as she could remember, Austria had never asked_ _anything like that_ _._

_Prussia walked back into the room with two cups of tea and sat down. One cup was placed in front of her as he grabbed the remote and clicked the TV off. Hungary shot a look at him but he simply leaned back and sipped his tea, looking at her calmly._

“ _I was watching that.”_

“ _Were you?”_

“ _Obviously. That’s why it was on.”_

_He nodded twice. “I see. Well, sorry. But I think we should take some time to actually speak to each other.”_

_Hungary scoffed and raised her arms in a questioning shrug. “About what? You worrying over nothing?”_

“ _No. And yeah maybe. But you didn’t answer my question. And you barely speak to me or show any interest when I try to talk to you.”_

“ _So what, now you want my undivided attention? Should I look at you 24/7 and prioritise you above everything including work?”_

_Prussia narrowed his eyes. “Of course not. But it would be great if my girlfriend could at least pretend she enjoys my presence. I mean, despite your abhorrence of saying it, we are actually dating. Or did you mysteriously forget that?”_

“ _What are you even talking about?”_

 _He let out a weak chuckle. “Do you even notice? Over the past few months you have introduced me as your friend or colleague, you don’t stand next to me in public, your friends didn’t even know you HAD a boyfriend, I barely see you outside of meetings and when I do see you you seem to be interested_ _in everything EXCEPT me. Like no, I don’t want your attention 24/7 but you know maybe just 10 minutes is that too much to ask?” He took a long breath after unleashing his torrent_ _of words_ _._

 _Hungary stared at him without blinking for a long moment. His nose was turning pink, and his lower lip was slightly trembling. She could t_ _ell he would start crying any moment. “Ok look maybe you should calm down. You’re getting emotional. We can’t solve anything like that.”_

 _The shift in his eyes was confusing to Hungary, she could decipher what mood he was in_ _now_ _or why. “_ _Are you ashamed to be with me?”_

_Her head fell back on the couch and she groaned. “You’re jumping to conclusions.”_

_Prussia set his tea down hard enough that some of it splashed onto the coffee table. “What am I meant to do then when you don’t speak to me dammit!”_

“ _There is no need to get so mad, oh my god. You are blowing this way out of proportion.”_

_The tears were coming down his face now, though he was clearly putting in every effort to stop them. His frown looked mad as hell, but the shaking hands and sniffling nose spoke of sadness. Hungary stared at him carefully and sighed._

“ _Look. I’m sorry alright. I’ll try to show you more attention. Ok?”_

_He didn’t say anything, just stared at his cup of tea and nodded. Hungary faced away from him and frowned at the wetness on her own face. She didn’t know when she had started crying as well. What a mess._

_****_

Her eyes adjusted to the fuzzy blinking light of the clock on her nightstand. 2:38 A.M. burned itself into her mind and she groaned. If she ignored the phone ringing maybe whoever it was would get a damn watch to remind them of the time. She closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

Obviously it didn’t work, and whoever was calling was definitely not giving up because her phone just would not stop. She swore under her breath and turned on the bedroom lamp, glaring at the stupid machine in her hand as she stabbed her finger on the ‘answer’ button.

“What?”

The background held music and various people chattering and laughing. Hungary instantly hated every single one of those strangers. Who goes drinking on a Tuesday? “Hello?” A hiccup and small chuckle.

Hungary raised an eyebrow and huffed. “Prussia. Do you know what time it is?”

“Yeh. Wait. Um no.” Another hiccup. “I just was thinkin’ bout you, like always,” another hiccup and a frustrated groan. “I wanna talk, because I’m sad, ya know? And confused. And sad.”

She sighed and rolled over to lay back down. “I know you’re sad but it’s 2:30 in the morning. Couldn’t this wait until a more reasonable time?”

He was making random noises. “Well yeah. But wait no. No because you always have an excuse. To not talk, and you know if you don’t want to talk that’s fine but you could at least tell me?”

Hungary stared at the ceiling. It was true, she couldn’t deny that. It wasn’t that she didn’t particularly want to talk, she just didn’t know what to say to him. But how was she meant to admit that?

“Hullo?”

“I’m still here.”

“’sgood. Thought you hung up.” A door could be heard closing and the background voices disappeared. He must have gone outside then. “So, do you wanna talk or…?”

Her hand went over her eyes. “Not when you’re drunk.”

“what does it matter if I’m drunk?”

“You shouldn’t talk about serious things while drinking. You’ll say things you regret later.”

“You mean like telling someone yes when they ask you to be their girlfriend.”

The pit formed in her stomach like an old friend that you wanted nothing to do with. “I wasn’t drunk when I said yes.”

“But you do regret it.” It sounded like he had plopped himself down somewhere. Hopefully not in a ridiculous or unsafe location.

“I never said that.”

His voice was soft. “No, but you never say otherwise either.”

A silence overcame them and Hungary found that she was starting to hate silence. With an overwhelming passion. It made her skin crawl, just listening to the two of them breathing and no other sounds. Her eyes started to see shapes behind her hand and she flung it down onto the bed in aggravation. “Why do you pick the worst times to bring up these sort of things?”

A small sob was what she got in response to her question and she raised an eyebrow again. A year ago if someone had told her how easy it was to make Prussia cry she would have laughed in their face. She bit her lip and listened to him crying on the other end. She had always sucked at finding the words to comfort people. Just as she was about to open her mouth and speak she heard his voice, soft and cracking.

“What did I do wrong?”

She sat up and brushed her hair out of her face. “What --”

“What did I do to make you not love me? I don’t understand I --” He drew in a gasping inhale and cleared his throat. “When did you start hating me? Please I just want to know what happened.”

“Prussia.” She sighed

“Why won’t you just talk to me?”

It was becoming difficult to breath, the pit in her stomach that was plaguing her so often lately came back with a vengeance to wrap its hands around her heart. Trying to speak just made her feel more choked up and her eyes raced around the room. “I… I don’t know how to start.”

Her confession seemed to make his crying pause, though it did nothing to stop her own.

****

“ _Why do you always throw a damn tantrum over every little thing that inconveniences you?”_

_Prussia spun around with a disgusted look on his face. “Inconveniences me?! Are you freaking kidding me right now?”_

_Hungary shrugged as she caught up to him. Maybe arguing on the sidewalk wasn’t the best idea but neither of them bothered to stop and think about it. They were both far too angry at each other. “You were causing a scene in front of everyone at the party! What did you think it would accomplish?”_

_His eyes burned into her and his jaw was set as he turned on his heel to stomp off again._

“ _Now you’re just walking away? But wasn’t this whole thing because I wasn’t paying attention to you? God there really is no pleasing you is there?”_

_He gave a bark of bitter laughter and kept walking. The fact that he wasn’t responding was only making Hungary more annoyed._

“ _You can’t just make demands, throw a tantrum when I don’t give in to them, and then ignore me when I try to talk to you.”_

_Finally he stopped and turned to look at her. The rage on his face was obvious. “Oh, NOW you want to talk? For nearly a year you have tried to do everything BUT talk! You come up with every excuse possible and when I complain you turn it around to be MY fault!”_

“ _IT IS YOUR FAULT!”_

“ _HOW?!”_

_Hungary threw her arms up and groaned. “You’re impossible!”_

“ _ME?! You spent that ENTIRE party at Austria’s side, talking to him, laughing with him, getting him food and drinks, the whole lot. Then when I asked if we could go spend some time together you said, and I quote: ‘You’re embarrassing me’. Like wow how dare I even think about wanting to spend time with my girlfriend!”  
“So what you’re saying is that you were jealous.”_

_His frown deepened. “NO! I am NOT jealous, I am heartbroken!”_

“ _What for?!”_

“ _I am tired of begging for a crumb of your affection.”_

_Hungary stared at him, her eyebrows seemed locked in a frown and his face red with emotion. Both were breathing hard. She crossed her arms and pursed her lips, looking to the side at nothing in particular. “You’re being unfair.”_

_Prussia scoffed and turned to walk away again, throwing his words over his shoulder. “This entire relationship is unfair.”_

_She watched him take a few steps before speaking. “Then the answer is simple. There is no relationship.” He froze in place, his shoulders going tense, but he didn’t turn around. “There shouldn’t have been a relationship in the first place. And if I’m not your girlfriend then you don’t have anything to get upset about. Problem solved we can all go home now.” The words were intended to hurt him but she wasn’t expecting the emotional kick to the gut that they gave her._

_She watched as he continued walking away in silence, and kept watching until he turned the corner._

_****_

“Your coffee and your chai tea. Enjoy!”

Both Prussia and Hungary smiled a thanks at the waitress and went back to awkwardly looking around the booth. She had agreed to finally meet up and talk, but that didn’t mean she was at all prepared. His drunken words on the phone last week were on repeat in her head and she sipped her coffee slowly as she thought about how she would breach the subject.

He spared her the agony of speaking first. “I shouldn’t have called while drunk. I’m sorry, for what I said. I wasn’t thinking clearly and it was a stupid decision.”

She stared at him in surprise for a moment and his face reddened.

“And…” He swallowed in nervousness and drummed his fingers on the table in front of him. “I’m sorry for everything I said and asked of you. While we were…. I’m sorry.” He sighed deeply and looked at her. “You are under no obligation to return anyones feelings, and it was unfair of me to expect you to--”

“Stop.” She roughly put her cup down and he blinked in shock, his mouth snapping closed. Hungary took a deep breath and decided to just rip the damn bandaide off. “Do you honestly believe you were in the wrong for simply asking to be loved?”

He bit his lip and glanced down at the table. Hungary felt claustrophobic in her skin watching him. She had done that. She had torn him apart. Her eyes stung and she took a shuddering breath, not giving him a chance to respond.

“Prussia, it’s not a crime to want someone to love you. It’s not wrong to want the person you love to treat you like a person. And it’s not your fault when the person you love is toxic and hurts you.” His gaze met hers again and he opened his mouth in confusion; she held a finger up to tell him she wasn’t done. “I’ve had some time, to think back on my behavior. On my words. On the entire relationship and way before it started. I’ve spent the past few months alone, coming to terms with it all, trying to make sense of why I did the things I did. And I came to the conclusion that if someone had treated me the way I treated you?” She let out a huff. “I’d beat their ass.”

Unexpectedly he started laughing, bringing a hand up to rub the tears out of his eyes. “Yeah, yeah you would.”

She smiled and took a drink of coffee, her brain racing for the right words to pin on how she was feeling. “You are completely justified in your heartbreak and anger. You gave me everything you had and I stomped it into the dirt and gave it back to you like it meant nothing.” They both were looking at each other, tears forming, and she reached over to put her hand on his. “I am so very sorry, for what I did to you. And I know that isn’t enough. It shouldn’t be enough. I know I did a lot of disgusting things and I never once stopped to consider how my actions affected you. I didn’t see it before and I wish that I had. I wish that I had given you the respect of being honest about why the relationship ended. I wish I had realised a lot sooner that I wasn’t being a good person. And I am so, so incredibly sorry.”

Prussia nodded, his thumb wrapping around the ends of her fingers. She squeezed gently in comfort and his lips ticked up a tiny bit to smile. “You know. We both…” He took a deep breath. “I know you want to carry all the guilt but. We were in a relationship together. I could have left at any time. I didn’t need to say cruel things in retaliation I said them because I was hurt and I wanted you to hurt too.” He swallowed roughly. “You were right, that there shouldn’t have been a relationship.” He was nodding at his own words, smiling while tears fell down his face. “We were never right for each other.”

Hungary watched him in silence, barely registering as liquid rolled down her chin and onto the table. She nodded with him. “I don’t know if we can ever get back to...friends, but.” She should have wrote a script for this she was so lost. Prussia’s hand squeezed hers, comfort returned.

“I’m willing to try, if you are.”

The tears were in full force and she nodded. “Do you think… can you ever forgive me?”

He hummed and picked up his cup. “I think so, if you buy me another Chai tea.”

The two laughed, their faces wet and hearts broken, but the mere act of laughing gave them a chance to see that it wasn’t the end of the world. Hungary thought back to the mess she had gotten herself into and Liechtensteins’ words sounded in her head while they ordered another round of their drinks.

‘ _We never know what to say until we say it.’_

_**fin**_


End file.
